Send in the Clowns

In a little more than two days one of my bestest friends, raine_days, will be in town!!! She gets in Friday morning and leaves Tuesday afternoon. So I will be taking most of Friday and all of Tuesday off from work. However, we will be making a visit to the office on Tuesday. I have mentioned raine_days before (and maybe you have seen her comments from time to time), but to refresh, we became friends our analyst training (we are alphabetically next to each other so we sat next to one another for several weeks). Raine_days is the friend that I can truly show my snarky side to. I can say the most politcally incorrect things - things I would never say around my new co-workers. You would think that I was not such a nice person. Okay, who am I kidding, I'm not a nice person, just in the sense that I don't love everyone and wonder why we can't just all get along. I may be a liberal tree-hugger, however, I draw the line at not shaving my legs and armpits and blaming men for every ill of society. It's not men, but white men.....kidding, kidding. Seriously. It's white men. What? Who's typing here? Must be another bug from facebook.

ANYWAY, once raine_days discovered how I hate clowns she does nothing but get me clowns for "gifts." They are only cool in the sense that they come from around the globe. Well, the OG clown is Bobo. A musical art piece from our very own Las Vegas. The description on his box says "clown, red, hat." He is dressed mostly in blue. The others are Chepe (El Salvador), Nigel (England), Rene (Belgium), Pavel (Poland), Jerome or Girard - I can't remember which (France), and one from Austria and Italy but I can't remember their names. Raine_days and I decide upon the name. It must be representative of the home country. She claims Chepe is a baby toy, but it squeaks and looks more like a dog toy. In fact, Mandy likes playing with him. Nigel is my "travelling gnome" and travels with me. Nigel also has a brother, Alastair, that raine_days has. Only Rene and Pavel are on my desk at work - hidden by my desk calendar. Oh my gosh! I almost forgot Chuckles!! He is an Amish clown with a coke habit. And not the kind of coke I'm addicted to. We picked him up outside of Philadelphia. He was the original travelling "gnome." But he was scary looking so Nigel got called up from the minors to take Chuckles' place.

So how weird do you think I am now? Carol, you better not be retracting your comment about being glad I joined the work group!! LOL!!!!! I know where you sit!

us @ the Golden Eagle

Chuckles in El Salvador

Chepe and Bobo

Chuckles @ the Outer Banks, NC (aka the OBX)

Nigel in London w/ St. Paul's in the background

Latrine Lockdown

Most of my reading audience already heard this today, but I'll blog about it anyway! Today Charlie was a little sad at work - football was dead to him. In an effort to bring some joy into the office, I shared the following:

Although Clarice's baby shower was a lot of fun, the highlight for me was not enjoying everyone's company or indulging in too much food. No. It was the fact that I did not lock myself in the bathroom. It happens to me a lot more than you would think even humanly possible too. Why the last instance was the Christmas party at Marty's house! I knew the instant I locked the door (at Marty's) that I would have trouble getting out. I tried for a little bit to move the handle as quietly as possible so not as to alert anyone. Eventually I heard someone say something like "I think Yelena is locked in the bathroom". Of course at that instant I was released from my half-bath jail cell!

The original lockdown came 20 years ago while visiting a museum in Austria. My family split up at one point and were to meet up again at the preposed time. So I stop in the bathroom before finding my parents. It's a single bathroom (no stalls) on a sort of mezzanine level of this large staircase. I do what I need to do but when it comes time to head out the door, I can't get it open!! I keep trying and trying and at one point even hear my mom walking down the staircase calling my name! I yell "I'm in here!!" but she didn't hear me. Finally the door magically opens and I find an Austrian woman on the other side who was apparently jiggling the handle from the outside. Upon seeing me, she says "danke" or "thank you." Thank me??? No meine frau, thank you!!! To add insult to injury, I got locked in the stall at LAX on our way back home. I had to crawwl on the dirty airport bathroom floor to get out. Of course I was wearing a white skirt of all things. Although if I recall correctly, I had it paired with a black and white International News sweatshirt over a pink polo shirt. Damn I was stylin! But I digress....

So if you ever invite me to your home (you may not after readaing this post!), please make sure you know how to rescue someone from a locked bathroom!!!

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.....

This afternoon Freddy was on the phone taking a McDonalds order for his grandson when everyone else started chiming in with what they would like Freddy to get them from the Golden Arches. At one point someone said "I'll have a chocolate milkshake." Now this comment alone isn't funny, but it instantly reminded of a visit to McDonalds in 11th or 12th grade. JF - have you guessed which story this is?? Anyway, one of my best friends worked at McDonalds and I think a few of us were there "visiting". She worked with a boy our age (not sure if he went to our school or not) and somehow it was decided that I would go up to the counter (since he was working) and ask for his phone number. My slick pick-up line? I'll have a chocolate milkshake and your phone number. I got the phone number! Too bad I never planned to call. He was a little scuzzy looking.

Things That Go Bump In The Night

When I got home from work the other day, I went into my room to change and could hear water running outside. At first thought my sprinklers were on. But then it wasn't my day to water and I have never even used my sprinklers. My two plants do fine with what random rain they get. At least that is what I tell myself! From the puddles, it was obvious the water had been on for some time too. I turned off the water and went back inside. Now this kind of freaked me out, but nothing was else was disturbed. I have lived by myself on and off for 8 of the last 10 years. I have never been afraid to be on my own. Until that night. I was fine until I started turning off lights and getting reaady to get in bed. I actually took my baseball bat out of the closet and kept it close all night. If I had a machete, I would have tucked that bad boy under the mattress - just in case. Every little noise began to make me suspicious and more paranoid. It didn't help either that Mandy was acting very peculiar. It was not appreciated when she knocked a bunch of things off a bookcase and scared the crap out of me. I believe I was even shaking a little at one point. My fear grew as I realized there was nothing I could do. Who would I call? The cops? "Um, hi, 911. I think someone might try and kill me tonight. No, I don't have any evidence. I'm just crazy." Then I thought, hey, I work with a bunch of guys who routinely carry guns - I can call one of them! Who doesn't want to be a hero? "Um, hi, this is Yelena. [sigh] Yelena. From work. Yuh-lay-na. You know, the new analyst? [exasperated sigh] You know, the person who sits at Charlie's old desk? Yeah, that one. I can't believe you don't want to come to my house in the middle of the night and make sure that no one is trying to kill me. Loser! If I die, it's totally your fault!" Oh wait, I don't have their numbers. Moving on. I also figured no one in our group would appreciate a paranoid call from me that night. Whoever I called would have to come get me (and Mandy - can't leave her behind!) because there was no way I was going to leave by myself! So, Dallas would have to get Chi out of bed and bring him along, I don't have Abe's number, and Joe probably wouldn't hear the phone ring. If it had been earlier, I think I would have called someone. I also thought about calling one of my friends back in DC for comfort, but I didn't think they'd appreciate a call that late at night. Anyway, I eventually fell asleep that night and survived. I just have no idea why I got so worked up. Yes, the water being on was weird, but I think my reaction to it scared me more. It just wasn't like me. And maybe I should get some more people's phone numbers!!

Thank you for being a friend.....

A few days ago Carol had a posting on her blog about a good friend of hers. Well, it got me thinking about my best friend, Katie. So I thought I'd share a little about my friend. We met a little over 4 years ago back in DC.

I don't know how much you all have gathered but I have some nerdish tendencies and a somewhat quirky sense of humor in addition to my usual smart ass remarks. I am just slow to open up and reveal all the facets of my personality. (There are times when I really want to say something or do something at work, but just don't think you are "ready" for it. I still feel like I am in a trial period or something.) I am also a wealth of pop culture facts and references as well as trivia in general. NOTE: I kick ASS in Trivial Pursuit and will gladly play a round with/against you! Amazingly, Katie has a very similar personality.

I actually recall the moment I knew she and I would be good friends. It must have been a month or so after Katie started and we walked to Starbucks for a coffee break. Somehow we got on the topic of old episodes of the TV show Saved By The Bell. There was this one where the three girls form a singing group and Zack magically gets them an audience with some record execs. (BONUS QUESTION 1: What was the name of the group?) They even make a video. I started singing the song, "Put your mind to it, go for it, get down and break a sweat....." And then I asked Katie if she knew what came next because I couldn't remember. She said no. We get coffee and are on our way back to work when the song pops in my head again. "Put your mind to it, go for it, get down and break a sweat...." and then I hear Katie say "rock annndd rollll, you ain't seen nothing yet!" She knew the words all along!! (BONUS QUESTION 2: What are the "famous" lines Jessie says at the end of this episode?)

Anyway, Katie is always there for me, she listens and gives her honest opinion, she was there when I was a wreck thinking I had MS (just a compressed nerve), she is there to laugh at quotes from "The Office" or "The Simpsons", we made up our own bowling lingo (we were on the DEA summer bowling league together), she was my pranking cohort at work, she listens when I go on and on about the guy I have a crush on, we cry together while watching "Extreme Home Makeover", and just share everything about our lives. I can talk about and share anything and everything in my life with her. We always have a good time, whether it is going to get our hair cut together, getting Chinese food from Wegmans (the most awesome grocery store ever!), or even deciding one Saturday around 1am to go to White Castle that very night (her husband and another friend also joined us) even though the nearest White Castle was in Newark, New Jersey! For the record, we made it to a Waffle House in Newark, Delaware and then turned around and came home in time to see the sun rise. Anyway, I just wish Virginia were a lot closer to Nevada.

BONUS QUESTION 3: What TV theme song is the title of this post taken from? Money to the person who sings it over the PA at work. :-)

What's in a Name?

I am always interested in why people were named what they were or why they chose the name they did for their own child. I'm sure it has something to do with having an unusual name myself. I usually can't just tell people my name without some explanation, but that's okay! I like telling people about my name. I'm very proud of it. I was named for my maternal grandmother, who was also named for her maternal grandmother. Now I'm not sure if my grandmother's birth name is Helen or Jelena in Serbian. (She goes by Helen.) My name is the Russian version which is actually quite popular. Growing up I would always look at displays with mini-license plates, pencils, coffee mugs, etc. with people's names. I think Yvonne was the closest I'd get. Maybe Yolanda, but because I hate being called that I don't count it! (Yes, people have called me Yolanda.) I used to hate my name. I was never made fun of for it; I don't think people could think of anything!! Maybe it also had something to do with the fact that I was several inches taller than everyone else in elementary school as well. (I was 5'10" when I was 12.)

I got thinking about this because at work today Kristi and I looked someone up and there were a bunch of people with the same first name and birthday (just in different years). When I got home I looked up the Catholic saint day calendar and sure enough, that day belonged St. Isidore the Farmer, among other saints. My dad was named for St. Thomas Villanova (the saint of the day he was born). My mom was named for a great-aunt. My brother is the only one in my family not named for someone else (first name that is) AND he got away with something easy - Matt.

Anyway, that's it - I just felt like sharing! Below is a photo me and my grandmother from a few years ago.

Christmas in Seattle

I went back to Seattle for Christmas as usual this year. I may miss Thanksgiving in Seattle for 8 years in a row, but I have never missed a Christmas! Usually Seattle is its normal gray, overcast self - maybe a little rain, some fog, some more rain, and a sunbreak if you are lucky! However, this year Seattle got hit with A LOT of snow. My parents' house got close to a foot of snow which is practically unheard of for the area. Thankfully I was able to make it out of Las Vegas without any trouble. People who were originally scheduled on flights a few days before me had to wait up to 4 days before getting out of Vegas!!

My parents live on Bainbridge Island, just west of Seattle in the Puget Sound. The Island is the size of Manhattan, but only has 20,000 residents compared to Manhattan's millions. So there is lots of open space, ginormous evergreens, and is very quiet. It has that small town feel, yet it is only a 35 minutes ferry ride from downtown Seattle. I love my parents house, except for one tiny thing - it's not the house I grew up in. They moved to Bainbridge 4.5 years ago, selling the only house I ever knew. We are all still very attached to the old house. When wee are in the old neighborhood, we will drive by. Even my friend JF indulges me and will do a nice, slow, stalker-esque drive-by of the old house. For some reason it makes me happy that the new owners have kept the mauve blinds I chose for my bedroom back in 1986.

Anyway, it was fun to play in the snow while I was home. The dogs loved it too, especially Oscar, our puppy. The last time I remember having a truly white Christmas in Seattle was 1990 or 1991 - when I was in middle school! And as a special Christmas treat, Oscar decided to be my friend. The first few times I saw him, he would always growl at me or hide behind my dad. When I was home this time, it was like we were best friends, with only a few growls to put me in my place. :-)

The house I grew up in

Views of the Bainbridge ferry dock

The house on Bainbridge

Snow-packed driveway

Rosie and Oscar relaxing

Mandy's Christmas card being properly displayed